On The Huh

As I am currently residing in Norfolk and so you don't think I am a word snob, I have decided to share with you some very Norfolk slang:

AFRONT- in front
AHIND - behind
ATWIN - between
BISHY BARNEY BEE-Lady Bird
BOR - neighbour or boy
BRED AND BORN - Norfolk purists insist this is the proper order not"born and bred"
COR BLARST ME! - favourite Norfolk expletive along "Well,I'll be blowed!" lines
DEW YEW KEEP A TROSHIN! - carry on with the threshing - but is another way of saying "goodbye" or "look after yourself"
DUDDER - to shiver "all of a dudder"
GUZUNDER - CHAMBER POT(guzunder the bed!)
HOLD YEW HARD! - Hang on a moment
JIP - aggravation,annoyance in the sense of pain
JOLLIFICEARTIONS - fun, joviality
LEND US A LUG - asking someone else to listen into a conversation for you(this is one of my father's expressions!)
LOKE - lane or alley,usually enclosed
LOLLOP - to progress slowly
LUMMOX - clumsy or ungainly person("git yew out o'the way yew gret lummox!")
MARDLE - 1.to gossip,chat at leisure;2 a village pond
MAWTHER - girl or young woman
OLD YEAR'S NYTE -New Year's Eve
ON THE HUH - awry,slanted or not level
RUM - curious,strange,funny
SQUIT - talking nonsense
TITTY-TOTTY - Very small
WARMINT - varmint or vermin,troublesome person "come here you young warmint I'll sort yew out!"

NOTE:many words beginning with V take a W start in Norfolk - warmint,wittles and willage among them.There are also examples of the letter being changed in the middle of the word i.e. aggravating becomes aggraweartin.

ZACKLEY - exactly ("thass zackly ryte!")

To a "transplant visiting his roots in Norfolk it must be a nightmare trying to ask a "local" the direction to some of the villages. Here are a few of the problems:

Costessey = COSSEY
Happisburgh = HAYSBRUH
Wymondham = WINDAM
Postwick = POSSICK
Potter Heigham = POTTER HAM
Raveningham = RANNINGHAM
Mattishall = MATSELL

NARSERY RHOIMES

Little owd gal Muffet
Sat roight down on an owd tuffet
Eatin' har cards an' whey,
When there come a master grut owd spoider
And sat roight down aside o'har
And wholly scart the li'l ol' mawther away

Too long winded, more witter, than twitter...

I've been trying an experiment. I have a twitter account. It's mainly because it seems very important to know what Stephen Fry is doing at all times. But I was thinking, as someone without a clever mobile (actually mine is impressively stupid) the only time I'm on the internet is when I am incredibly bored & have little to say for myslef, so I wrote down stuff (With the intention of illustrating them) that I would "tweet" were I do to be able to. Here are some of them. (I was also playing at using the forgotten words in sentence, so there's quite a few in there.

#1

Ummmmm pants day! No-one in the house & twelvety movies saved on Sky+ God bless the Cohen Brothers!

http://www.apocolypsegirls.co.uk/ has pictures of me & other girls having pants days.

#2

Is is wrong to love a tote bag when the handles are too short thus rendering it impracticle?

(P.S not actual tote bag, but I love www.etsy.com, knitting & nintendo, just so you know)

#3

Is it wrong to think MTV knows best? (Is it worst to believe in Sexy Magic?)

#4

I didn't know Indian burns and Chinese burns were the same thing. Maybe my sister just told me they were different so she could give me both.

5#

Killer Robots are all well and good until they start on humanity.

http://store.dieselsweeties.com/collections/red-robot-swarm-2009

(Buy this. Read this.)

#6

What is it with fubsy businessmen in 1st class looking down on me in their primarni suits? Honestly, go away & can someone tell the turgid little bastard that 1st class is like one big plush QUIET carriage?

#7

The Beach Boys on a grey rainy day is like having a little jar of sunshine that not only radiates happy, but blocks out Mr. Soliull Cheapsuit yakking impoitently into his mobile about pointless meeting, the mewling fool doesn't have fun, fun, fun until daddy's takes the T-bird away. He probably drives a Mondeo.

#8

As the adverts suggest, roborance is part & parcel of stout. I had my half in a tiny guiness glass, it made me feel like a giant. Rosie put a heart in it for me, which must have been a lot more abstergent than a shamrock as it made my tummy ache feel better.

#9

New carpet & paint in the Ladies in the Fenton, but Mike Flowers Pops is playing, with pleasure comes pain. the smell or drying paint is considerably less olid than the previous smell but appropriate for the conversation. (I tried to matain my vilipend, but still took my shoes off & scrunched my feet like in Die Hard)

#10

In Brighton the tramps drink champagne & you snap your fingers after every Hi-5 (A Hi-10 get's a double snap) OH MY DAYS, as we say in Nottingham.

#11

He winked at me and something fluttered & it wasn't just the leathery skirr of the bats wings overhead, as they went, quite rightly about their nightly, batly chores. What a thing to happen in the half-light of the not quite day, not quite night. The caliginosity further embragles me into your simple gesture.

#12

The man coming round with the coffee sang 99 red balloons at me as my snack cost me 99p. He said he liked the song & so did the people in the clubs. I said 99 balloons would be more fun than crisps. He laughed. He asked me what the song was about, I thought about it, quite a while & replied "Balloons". Something's are best left alone.

13#

Seamus Heaney is rhyming slang for Bikini. Which isn't as bad as Emma Freud being Rhyming slang for Hemmorids.

Drawing you further & further in....

I raided some bits of an old scrap book.

Here is my cat (currently sat awkwardly on my lap...) wanting me to stop sitting in the comfy chair. I was watching Rushmore (If you haven't seen it, do.) with a big gin. I wasn't moving.

This is the beginning design for a picture for my sister. She got a Uke for her birthday. I may put the finished picture up sometime. Following are some character ideas from the ACTUAL COMIC oh yes, oh yes! They are based on insults. I understand they will be drawn better and funnier as they will have words and other thing in order to amuse you.

These are going to be internet insults.

Then we have Old fashioned insults (I fucking love calling people a blaggard.) & mexican insults, otherwise known as "Swearing Like Line Chef." Go read Athony Bordain's Kitchen Confidential and think of me spitting in your chips my little lovelys!

The last lot are my favourite to draw character Eddy. They are all deffanitions of the word GONZO. Prizes for guessing them all. BIG prizes for all you horrid fubsy monkeys who know what DVDA is.

This is what Dictionary.com has to say about gonzo

I believe I can think of three more definitions. Can you?

I have two seperate nuggets of music for you today. One is in honour of both BILL MURRAY & WES ANDERSON (Both starred & directed, respectively, in Rushmore.)

The soundtrack to The Life Aquatic, because it's good:

http://www.blogger.com/'http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=

Then we have Coconut Records (No I don't get the name either.) Jason Schwartman's musical whatever because he is the star of Rushmore & I'd like to forgive him for being the drummer in the band that did the theme tune to the OC which I didn't like one bit. Not one bit (The OC not the song):

http://www.myspace.com/coconutrecords

Obvs feeling quite queit and sugary today. I promise something very loud next time.

Photography for Agoraphobes

Late last year I didn't leave the flat for 2 weeks. I took pictures out of the window. They are from 3 stories up, all out of the same window. I really do have agoraphopbia. It's just OK most of the time. It's also the same time as most of the comics were drawn, I wanted to put a story to go with them, but it's not finished, so tough one kids.

I've been enjoying this a lot recently. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart. I think it goes nicely with the pictures:

http://rapidshare.com/files/159022207/POBPAH.rar

A lovely man sent me the link (I have never made him a mix tape, nor planned an adventure with him. I also belive he is from THE NORTH.),but you should go see them live at Dot to Dot tickets from here:

http://www.dottodotfestival.co.uk/

My word's of the day are:

perfidy
noun
1. Betrayal of a trust
2. An act of deliberate betrayal.

coalesce
verb
1. Mix together different elements; "The colors blend well"
2. Fuse or cause to grow together

No reason. I just like them.

x

Oh deary me, I broke the internet...(Playdateswithmates)

Still no comics. Oh well.

I have been fighting with Mediafire all day as I spent two days making a mixtape for someone who couldn't be bothered to even cancel. That is called being stood up. It happens to me a lot. This is not some weepy emoid rant I promise you. These are playdates with mates. Adventures in running and jumping not bedsheets. I thought it would be nice to upload this and send it to people I thought might appreciate it more than it's intended did.

It keeps crashing everything else I'm doing (Including uploading the sketches about making mixtapes...)

So just to clarify, the first mix was for a little man who was going to go on photo adventures with me & have movie parties with. He never called/texted back. Boo him I thought! The second was for going to the seaside to watch the rough North Sea bash up against big cliffs. He never called/texted back. Well Boo him as well I thought! The 3rd manboy was supposed to come visit me for adventures, but suddenly didn't call me back either. I didn't make him a mixtape. He was however very tall.

I would like to add all of these poopy mean chaps were from the south. I think that tells me something. I will try and take my own advice.

Ok, I have argued with the gods of the internets and now have a VERY rough sketch, which is mostly unreadable. I don't care. I'm determined to put SOMETHING UP. Here you go kids. Wet your pants with thrills :)

It's supposed to be me & Tyler. He is easy to draw. Although he wanted me to make him look like Omar Little, I said no.

Instead of the awesome four part megamix tape I planned to upload I'm instead going to give you "Five Short Songs That Make Me Do A Fun Wee"

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=44f13e392dae7283c2b435915e8821d7a87f69fd637fad4db8eada0a1ae8665a

Hope you enjoy x

So Here We Go!

Hello!

Right, as I have failed at getting this to show the comics it was intended for without it looking all wrong and have been promised a shiney pretty website, I'm just going to start using this for whatever the hell I feel like. Today it's this:

Abstergent - Cleansing.

Agrestic - Rural.

Apodeictic - Unquestionably true by virtue of demonstration.

Caducity - Perishableness.

Caliginosity - Dimness.

Compossible - Possible in coexistence with something else.

Embrangle - To confuse.

Exuviate - To shed.

Fatidical - Prophetic.

Fubsy - Squat.

Griseous - Somewhat grey.

Malison - A curse.

Mansuetude - Gentleness.

Muliebrity - The condition of being a woman.

Niddering - Cowardly.

Nitid - Bright.

Olid - Foul-smelling.

Oppugnant - Combative.

Periapt - An amulet.

Recrement - Refuse.

Roborant - Tending to fortify.

Skirr - A whirring sound, as of the wings of birds in flight.

Vaticinate - Prophesy.

Vilipend - To treat with contempt.

These are just some of the words being kicked out the dictionary to make way for new words like Celebutante (Don't approve) and Riffage (Do approve).

Everyone should try and use these words as much as possible, the good ones, like FUBSY anyway!

x

Here is a picture of a kitten in a wine glass , which officially means you cannot be cross with me for failing at computers, cute cat pictures ARE the internet.